When your young full of health and lead a pretty active lifestyle the last thing you expect is for your doctor to tell you you have cancer.The C word is so strong and you think it only happens to people who are old.Well it happened to me and it can happen to anyone.Yes cancer can be hereditary but it doesnt discriminate age,sex,color.
Back in 2007 when I finally realized I should get a physical exam.The last thing I expected was to have such a diagnosis.I mean I had perfect cholesterol levels,glucose, and weight.I ate healthy foods,exercised almost daily.I kickboxed,never smoked and drank alcohol very randomly.One afternoon after I got home from kickboxing training I get a call from my doctor.She told me I had to go see her immediately because she had to discuss some of my results.I went to her office in Seal Beach,CA and she drops the C word to me.My first thought was the lab probably misread my test,or it got mixed up.She immediately reffered me over to a GYN Oncologist.She examined me and my treatments began.
I was in denial the whole time.I didnt tell anyone.It didnt finally hit me until one day I nearly passed out during my kickboxing session.I figured my body would be strong enough to handle my normal lifestyle and cancer treatments.I was wrong!
Not only did cancer affect my overall physical health but it affected me emotionally and it was mentally draining.Day and night I started wondering why this was happening to me?what will the future hold for me?So many questions but yet no answers and no one to answer them for me.I was to embarrased and proud to ask for support from anyone.Which was a mistake.Anyone facing cancer,or has a family member should ask for professional support or simply talk to loved ones.
During this time not only did I face my own problems but had to deal with family problems.Not growing in a perfect family,I didnt have the support some others may have.My older sister who was 35 at the time decided she wanted to act like a irresponsible teenager roam around using drugs and ended up abandoning her two kids with me.First of all I was not a parent and had no idea how to handle a 7 and 13 year old.Secondly I had my health issues.But there was no way I would turn my back on these two adorable children,and no one else in my family felt they wanted to take on the responsibility of caring for them.
I was working in the Emergency Room night shift at the time 3 to 4 nights a week,and it was very hard,but my schedule allowed me to still manage to take the kids to school and make it to my doctor appointments.My mother was there to babysit the kids when I wasnt physically able to.
During this time I had to be strong for myself,the kids and my mother who has heart conditions and cant handle too much stress.I had to come up with ways to lift up my spirits.Going to the gym made me feel good but I could no longer handle going.So I started reading books and listening to music.I really enjoyed books with happy endings or self help books.A few of the authors I enjoyed the most were Dave Pelzer,Adeline Yen Mah,books by Croyden and so many others.I started enjoying the little things in life.I would get excited when a new book would arrive at my house.I also enjoyed listening to Trance.Note my Youtube channel is 77Trancelover.Trance music put my mind at ease and putting my mind at ease aid with the physical pain.My favorite Trance artist was Tiesto.I would look forward to downloading his podcast every Monday.I own all of his CD's but there are two songs for some reason put my mind at ease and dried my flowing tears and those two songs were Forever Today and Athena.
Not only did reading and allowing music to liberate my mind and body but I started making short term goals,and felt blessed for waking up every morning or afternoon.Watching my niece and nephew excel in their school work ,or hearing about the things that happened in school.I would never allow the kids to see me in agony or watch me cry.My tears were silent,and when the tears started to flow I would turn on my ipod or read a book.Even though my living condition was unstable I knew there were people in worse conditions.I had a roof over my head,a good paying job that was flexible with me,and two amazing kids who loved me and saw me as their hero.I didnt know whether Id live tomorrow but one thing I knew was that I had to be strong.
It was almost the end of 2008 and my Gyn Oncologist gave me great news.My treatments worked and I was now free of Cancer.I was ecstatic.I cried the whole way home.I was so overwhelmed with the news.I had a few days off work and decided to go to Hawaii with the kids.
I also decided to go see Tiesto perform on New years eve in New york city.It was such an amazing night.I cried and welcomed the new year cancer free with my favorite DJ in the whole wide world.
To top it off later in 2009 my sister decided to go to rehab and change her lifestyle.Up until this date she has been drug free with her children.
Sometimes things happen in our lifes that we cannot understand.After walking through that dark tunnel I realized that my life was being molded,I can now appreciate the little things in life,and not take life for granted.It wasnt easy trying to keep a positive mind when everything seemed to be falling apart,but you have to focus and set small goals each day.Write them down if you need to.Dont be afraid or too proud to ask for help.
I thank God,Tiesto,and all the amazing authors who helped me through this scary phase in my life.I urge everyone to please get a physical check.Listen to your body,and even though the doctors office and lab is a scary place it can save your life!
